Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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