I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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