Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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