I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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