Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
