isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
