I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
