you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Randomize
