Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
...so i touched it.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
