The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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