there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
