I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
