I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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