literally had 100 drinks last night.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
