Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
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