I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
