Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
