he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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