I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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