YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
