too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
