I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
