yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
