Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize