he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
