You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
