Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
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