If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
