you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
