i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
