How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize