i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I have fence marks all over my body
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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