We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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