I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
