It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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