Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
