margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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