it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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