I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
