I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
What a dumb baby whore.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
