its not stalking. its research.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
