nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
