i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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