Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
