there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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