I bet he comes in French.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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