Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
