# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
