Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
