It was confusing and full of hummus
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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