He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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