Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
