they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
