can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize