I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
