Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I need a beard to bite.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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