Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
