all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
