fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
