the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
